Happiness;
Bismillaah Ar-rahman Ar-raheem.
Assalaamu Alaykum.
I had a conversation with a friend a few months ago and I was telling her how I was going to be happy after I achieve some of my goals and she asked me a question that has lived in my head rent free “but happiness isn’t a destination, is it?” that question randomly pops in my head every time I think or talk about happiness.
So Happiness;
We all crave happiness. Think about it. It’s always I want to do this so I’ll be happy. I want to buy this so I’ll be happy. Even though we don’t say the “so I’ll be happy” part to ourselves. It’s subconsciously why we want to achieve all our dreams. It’s why we want everything to go well.
So this feeling called happiness how do we feel it?
It’s definitely not through money or wealth like most of us grew up believing. Because if it were, then the rich and famous would be the happiest people in the world, right? but that isn’t the case because some poor people are happier than most rich people.
I mean, most of the sahabah were poor yet they lived a happy and fulfilled life.
***
Does social media really make us happy?
We’re so addicted to it, so surely it brings us some sort of happiness.
Why do we do the things we do? Why do we take a picture of our food to post on social media before we eat it like it’s anyone’s business. Why do we go out of our way to post Snippets of our lives on social media? (But the food part is kinda weird now that I think about it.)
It really doesn’t make sense why we do it? Is it because everyone’s doing it?
Why does a like or a comment on our post make us happy? Why do we get anxious when our post doesn’t get enough likes? Why does it even matter???? It’s a little silly when you think about it lol.
Are we chasing a certain type of happiness? I mean getting likes on our post makes us happy, right?
I’m not here to talk about social media or the little joy it brings us when we get a like or a comment or the anxiety, when we don’t (although it’s an interesting topic I might write about, who knows ;) ).
The happiness we get from social media is fleeting. (and baseless)
Does buying new things make us happy?
I mean there’s this happiness that comes with buying new things, but it eventually fades away as that new thing suddenly becomes an old thing and something else replaces it. And then we want that “something else”.
A typical example; I get a new iPhone and I’m so happy cuz I’ve wanted it for such a long time then a few months later apple releases a new one and my new one suddenly feels old and outdated to me that I want the new one so badly. Is it because it’s the one everyone’s talking about? Is that why we want it? Or because everyone wants it and we want to be among the few that have it, if only for a short period, before the release of a new one.
It’s like this with all trendy things like bags, shoes, watches etc
Again fleeting…
Or is happiness in achieving all our goals?
And once those goals are achieved we’re happy for a while before we come up with a new one and then the pattern repeats itself.
“Why is it that we get what we want, we’re happy for a moment, then after a while we find that the things that made us happy don’t anymore?”
All this reminds me of a Hadith;
The prophet said صلى الله عليه وسلم that: if the son of Adam had a valley full of gold, he’ll desire a second one. And if he was given a second valley full of gold he’ll desire a third one.
So is happiness in contentment?
Contentment is being happy with the decree of Allāh.
The root of happiness in this world is contentment. By being content, you are led to the doors of gratefulness. By being content, you are patient and satisfied with the decrees of Allah. By being grateful, you take that step further and are not only content, but happy, and grateful for the state you are in.
I feel like we look at what others are doing way too much. And social media has made that so much easier. We look at how much this person has achieved and wish we could also do more with our lives. We look at how many countries this person has been to and subconsciously wish we could travel more. We look at how perfect this couple is and wish our marriage could be more like theirs or even better.
Comparison brings lack of contentment which leads to unhappiness.
Happiness is more than contentment.
***
We need to accept that we can be happy here in this dunya, but only for a short period of time.
Because the truth is everlasting happiness doesn’t exist in this dunya. That’s one of the properties of Jannah, it’s only in Jannah that we can get eternal happiness.
And there’s a difference between fleeting happiness and ✨true happiness✨
So what is true Happiness?
It’s not chasing after worldly things, it’s not in trying to please everyone (cuz the truth is we can’t please everyone and we all know that by now) It’s not in fulfilling our hearts desire (cuz they’re endless) it’s not in following trends or getting likes on social media. It’s not being woke either.
Happiness is being true to yourself.
Happiness is having a close relationship with Allāh. Or at least working on your relationship with Allāh and doing the things He سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى Loves and working hard to please Him.
And whoever turns away from My remembrance - indeed, he will have a depressed life. (Q20:124)