Sawfy’s melancholic musings #2

I’m being crushed under the heavy weight of having to exist.

Trigger warning: self-harm ⚠️.

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when i slit my wrists so all the parts of me i hated would bleed out

it almost felt as liberating as i’d expected

finally i was drifting away

until i looked up and saw her sad smile

the kind i’d hoped to never see

there she was happy for my liberation

for my fleeting happiness

yet sad for all the things i could’ve been but decided to give up instead.

‘Living takes courage’ she said ‘so I understand.

But I wish you’d wait till the end rather than dropping the book after the first few unpleasant chapters.

Death is not as liberating as you think, it is not nothingness, it is a journey into another world, another existence.

And I know what you crave is nothingness, to cease to exist. Everything that death is not.’